Finding Support

Finding Support

by Mary Owens

Life can be tough. May it be illnesses or health scares; losing a loved one to divorce, death, or a break-up; job instability, economic difficulty, or the current pandemic. These things can shake us, and they can feel insurmountable.

We’ve all been there at one time or another. The feelings that can go along with stress and trauma are different for each one of us. One thing we yearn for when life is too much is support. Support can look different for each and every one of us. At different times in our lives, or even from day to day, the ways we find support can vary. 

The reality is that we are not alone in wanting comfort when we hurt. We are a culture of people who compliment each other on being “independent” and “strong.” But, it’s ok to admit we need support. It’s comforting for me to hear from friends who have endured a difficult situation and to hear what helped them. 

I have recently discovered, in the loss of my father, that I felt differently than I ever have before. The sadness and grief made me feel like I couldn’t breathe. Things that made me feel supported in prior trials weren’t the answer this time. 

I had to really listen to my body. I had to follow what it was telling me to find, what would serve me and be healing for me. 

Typically, pushing myself in a power yoga class would get the endorphins flowing, and I could lose myself in the practice. But, sometimes we have no energy to move or even speak. Sometimes we feel so broken that we can’t utter words. I read recently from an unknown writer that “tears can be unspoken prayers when words can’t be found.” One day recently, I found support by putting plants into the ground. Getting my hands into cold, wet dirt and working in the fresh air was the support I needed that day. Another day, mindlessly knitting helped me feel supported.  

We have a calling to be supported when we are struggling or hurting. It’s ok if that means our support comes from a teary phone call with a friend or you simply standing in the sunshine, closing your eyes, and being still with your thoughts.  

There is no rule book for what’s acceptable help in a time of need. We will find healing in different ways, sometimes unexpectedly.

If we can be still for a moment and listen, our bodies will tell us what they need. And when we find what supports us, soak in it. Be grateful for the help that is there for the taking. 

We are human. We are not alone, and we always have options for finding some comfort in the chaos. Our bodies will guide us to finding ways to eventually help to heal us.